Starfleet Jedi

Put a division of Numenorean Heavy Infantry (say 5000 men) on Endor instead of Imperial troops, and remove Rebels. How will Ewoks fare?

They wonder why Sauron sent furry little orcs with stone weapons against them. Then they Kill all of the Ewoks easily.

seven foot tall superman strong enough to fire steel bows? that made weapons that could harm quasi intangible undead wraiths? with a decent chunk of the nobility being psychic and precognitive

vs freaking Teddy Bears

poor, poor Numenorians never knew what hit them!

all kidding aside you could probably put 300 Numenorians at the pass at thermopolye from the movie and they'd slaughter so many persians Xerxes would order a full retreat..this is just damn brutal I'm not even sure you'd need more then a thousand or so to exterminate the population of Ewoks on the planet

This is a copy of a list of Ewok feats from the EU made by A.Bettik at SpaceBattles.com.
http://forums.spacebattles.com/showpost ... stcount=15

All Canon:
--An arcane Ewok Witch Doctor using a wooden staff could control force storms before Palpatine even knew the technique existed.
--Like a twisted form of the Shrike's Merlin's Disease, said Witch Doctor was able to physically SHRINK a bear-sized creature down until it was erased entirely from existence.
--The only creature to pose a threat to the Ewoks is Morag, who was able to imbue a tree with sentience and breathe dark magical life into it. A random Ewok Warrior beat this monster by canonically stopping time, then luring it into a pool of boiling water.
--Morag was also capable of reanimating ancient skeletons into living beings, which the Ewoks were quite capable of subsequently re-skeletonizing.
--Another unfortunate foe of the Celestial Ewoks was an actual demon, who the Ewoks imprisoned, via the dark arts, into the frozen ice of a mountain. As though to torment the poor soul, they left it a mirror with which it could see the outside world, but never get there. When he finally managed to attack the village anyway, the cruel Witch Doctor came to the mountain and froze the demon solid.
--Ewoks canonically use solidified, concentrated Wank as their garments.

God forbid they wonder close to one of the Sentient Mountains, possessed by one of the Old Spirirts... mountains that the Ewoks canonically destroy with ease.
The Ewoks could just shrink them to palm-size before eating them whole.
The Ewoks have the power to freeze beings in ice.
The Ewoks have the power to freeze being in time.
The Ewoks can canonically cast Force Storms.
The Ewoks can both summon and skeletonize giant dinosaurs.
Ewoks regularly defeat a being with Onslaught-level powers.
Ewoks canonically wear solidified Wank.
If Shepherd's team somehow gets through all that, I don't see why the Ewoks couldn't use the Sunstar to simply take control of the entire empire to crush his puny team.

If the moderators, or the author wish this taken down I have no problem. It's just so funny I couldn't help but share.

Ewok wank... I never thought I will see something like it.

Well, it's taken from the two Ewok movies, as well as the animated series that ran some years back...
Ah, the fond memories (the animated series, not the movies)... :P

Picard wrote:Ewok wank... I never thought I will see something like it.

It's actually just a list of EU ewok feats written in what I find to be an amusing manner. The part that makes it the most amusing to me, is there is nothing exaggerated. The ewoks did those things in the cartoons, and it does explain some of the odd things that happened at the battle of Endor. ^_^

Except that Ewoks were curbstomped until they started to use guerilla tactics against (not-so-bright) Imperial troops. There is nothing supernatural there. Plus I normally go with "canon evidence only" in threads, so EU doesn't count (sorry, Teddy Bears :-) ).

I'm pretty sure..if you leave the EU wank for the jedi at the door

Feanor himself..or a company..of a hundred or so Numenorians lead by Isildur and his dad could probably butcher the Jedi council

Picard wrote:Except that Ewoks were curbstomped until they started to use guerilla tactics against (not-so-bright) Imperial troops. There is nothing supernatural there. Plus I normally go with "canon evidence only" in threads, so EU doesn't count (sorry, Teddy Bears :-) ).

Curbstomped?
They opened up with arrows, downing many Stormtroopers, and then started running away.
They suffered minimal losses even against the AT-STs, took down two, and helped Chewbacca take over another, which killed the last one.
They executed the perfect trap reversal against incompetent and idiot troops, but even if they had taken the troops head on in combat, they would have won, although at a very heavy price in loss of life...

I had presumed that the ewoks that died in battle merely chose to do so of their own free will, as sacrifices to their dark gods to rid them of the eye sore that had appeared in the sky so that they wouldn't have to be 'too' concerned with cleaning it up later. ^_^

Praeothmin wrote:

Picard wrote:Except that Ewoks were curbstomped until they started to use guerilla tactics against (not-so-bright) Imperial troops. There is nothing supernatural there. Plus I normally go with "canon evidence only" in threads, so EU doesn't count (sorry, Teddy Bears :-) ).

Curbstomped?
They opened up with arrows, downing many Stormtroopers, and then started running away.
They suffered minimal losses even against the AT-STs, took down two, and helped Chewbacca take over another, which killed the last one.
They executed the perfect trap reversal against incompetent and idiot troops, but even if they had taken the troops head on in combat, they would have won, although at a very heavy price in loss of life...

I guess that the scene when Imperial walker kills one Ewok and another tries to wake him... God, that was sad.

That it was, that it was...
Some time ago, again trying to debunk the bullshit that Warsies were trying to pass as truth, namely that the Ewoks were getting their asses kicked until Chewie commandered an AT-ST, I had looked at the scene closely, and had counted the number of Ewoks killed or incapacitated during the fight.

I counted less than 10, for at least dozens of Stormtroopers killed and two AT-STs destroyed, before Chewie even got one.
And the one Chewie fired upon was too busy shooting at trees to kill Ewoks... :)

Yeah, the Imperials were indeed doing great against the little furries... :)

Picard wrote:Except that Ewoks were curbstomped until they started to use guerilla tactics against (not-so-bright) Imperial troops. There is nothing supernatural there. Plus I normally go with "canon evidence only" in threads, so EU doesn't count (sorry, Teddy Bears :-) ).

The Ewoks were giving at least as good as they got on Endor.

I was more talking about the Rebels winning in space nearly needing a super-natural reason. I mean how many times do Imperial ships lose shields for seemingly no reason?

The curb stomp song might help clear up what a curb stomp is in VS debating.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRuka6I7Ng

Admiral Breetai wrote:seven foot tall superman strong enough to fire steel bows? that made weapons that could harm quasi intangible undead wraiths? with a decent chunk of the nobility being psychic and precognitive

vs freaking Teddy Bears

poor, poor Numenorians never knew what hit them!

all kidding aside you could probably put 300 Numenorians at the pass at thermopolye from the movie and they'd slaughter so many persians Xerxes would order a full retreat..this is just damn brutal I'm not even sure you'd need more then a thousand or so to exterminate the population of Ewoks on the planet

Here's the thing: the orcs outnumbered Isildur's army by 5:1, but still their weapons and armor was so superior, that the orcs defeated him only by grabbing onto his soldiers after charging them; that way, they were able to wrestle them down and kill them on the ground.
Meanwhile the Ewoks clearly couldn't grab onto anything but a low-hanging branch, so it really would take more like 50:1 for the Ewoks to win.

And maybe even more than that: Numenoreans have been known to kill over 20:1, when Boromir fought a whole army of Uruk-hai and other orcs; and what's more, he would have taken the whole army of them, but he was trying to protect 2 hobbits, and the orcs fortunately had a smart commander who ordered them all to shoot him from a distance with arrows, and they had about 100 orcs shooting arrows all at Boromir-- and Boromir didn't have any armor other than a shield. Meanwhile Isildur's army had armor that the orc-arrows couldn't penetrate.

Comparatively, the little short bows of the Ewoks can't possibly harm the Numenoreans in their armor; rather, the Numenoreans would just mow through them like grass, all day.
Finally, the Ewoks can only fight in the woods; so the Numenoreans could just get to a river or plain, and they'd be unbeatable.