Fanlaws

[Jedi Master Spock]

There are, I have decided, laws governing the phenomena surrounding fandom. Here, I believe, are a few...

Newton's Laws of Motion Pictures:

1.) A franchise in production tends to stay in production, and a franchise out of production tends to stay out of production, unless acted on by a financial force, such as the box office.
2.) Fans create revenue equal to their cumulative mass multiplied by their ability to pay. This may be expressed in its simplest form as the equation F=ma.
3.)Action at the box office is coupled with equal, but opposed, action by film critics.

Stefan-Boltzmann Law for television shows:

The ratings power driving a hot show is proportional to the advertiser's willingness, A, to sell products to its projected demographics, and the fourth power of the hype surrounding it.

Ampere's Law for fan communities:

The total flux of information flowing in and out of a closed fan community is equal to the simple sum of new production being watched or read by that closed community.

Archimedes' principle for ratings:

The ratings for a show that is submerged in bad writing are buoyed up by a force equal in magnitude to the optimism and volume of its disappointed fans.

Picard's plot theorem:

For a plot to be coherent over an arc, the arc must contain at most one essential continuity violation.

Gödel's incompleteness theorem for fanalysis:

For any consistent set of analyses of any speculative fiction franchise with more than one producing author, there exists an incident in that franchise which cannot be explained.

The "Space Nazi" corollary to Godwin's law:

As the length of any discussion of politics within a science fiction franchise increases, the probability that one or more fictional regimes will be compared to the Third Reich approaches unity.

The Laws of fandynamics:

1.) The change in internal energy of a group of fans is equal to the sum of the fans entering and leaving the group and the work done by or on the group by other groups of fans.
2.) Fantropy (a measure of the amount of energy that cannot be directed towards useful ends) of a closed system tends to increase with time.
3.) Activity involving perfectly rational fans with absolutely chill attitudes change the total fantropy by zero.

Zeroeth law of fandynamics: If two distinct groups of fans in communications contact with one another are unaffected as a whole by this contact, the two groups are possessed of equal levels of stubborness.

The no-hair conjecture for fanon:

Fanon information sucked into a community has only three salient characteristics: Popularity, spin, and controversy. All other properties (including coherency, consistency, strangeness, et cetera) are destroyed as the fanon enters the community.