Star Trek what if...

[watchdog]

You are the captain of a brand new Sovereign class Starship on your shakedown cruise when a bizarre warp-related accident transplants you out of your universe and into another. There is a space battle raging nearby, between the forces of the old Republic and the Separatists factions.

Now for the twist;
Your computers recognize every ship and fighter out in space, that is because your library computers have informtion on a late 20th century phenomena called 'Star Wars'. Your ship has entered an alternate universe where Star Wars is real, and your ship has the entire movie series as well as every piece of EU material ever written (including the cartoons and other tv shows). One of the star destroyers contacts you to state your buisiness, that call is from a General Obi-Wan Kenobi...

What do you do? You know the entire history of this galaxy for the next 150 years, how do you interperate the prime directive in this situation? Do you choose sides or focus all of your attention to getting back to the Federation? What do you do if they take you to meet Palpatine? What if Count Dooku tries to capture your ship for his own ends?

Have fun with this.

[GStone]

Are we talking the EU+films continuity or the films only one?

[watchdog]

All of the EU.

[GStone]

I'd say hello. That I'm from the united federation of planets and that we had some trouble with our engines. I want to assure you that we have no desire to get involved with your conflict. Our society has a strict rule of interfering with the internal politics of other cultures. We will be leaving after we've repaired our engines. You can monitor our activites, if you like.

All of that is entirely true. But, after the engines are 'fixed', we hide away and come back and make a transport clone of certain individuals, like Palpatine and Yoda and Anakin. Get my doc to study their biology. Steal some of their goodies, while the fighting is going on and work on trying to get back home.

[watchdog]

I'd say hello. That I'm from the united federation of planets and that we had some trouble with our engines. I want to assure you that we have no desire to get involved with your conflict. Our society has a strict rule of interfering with the internal politics of other cultures. We will be leaving after we've repaired our engines. You can monitor our activites, if you like.

All of that is entirely true. But, after the engines are 'fixed', we hide away and come back and make a transport clone of certain individuals, like Palpatine and Yoda and Anakin. Get my doc to study their biology. Steal some of their goodies, while the fighting is going on and work on trying to get back home.

Interesting, but how are you going to get the genetic material without anyone knowing? What if Dooku comes after you? How do you deal with the act that you're in the middle of a battle where you land?

[GStone]

I wouldn't do it while the fighting is going on. I'd go off and try to get myself to coruscant. Palpatine and Yoda are most likely there and do it while they're asleep. I'd try accessing the computers, but if there was some trouble, I'd transport clone the machines and have my crew work on the copy on the ship. Before trying to access the computers, I'd download their memory engrams and try to find the info I want. There's also that mind reading machine from TOS. I probably wouldn't have access to the romulan version. I'd find a place with navigational charts and fill in some info from what's in Yoda's and Palp's head to find where their really good goodies are.

[watchdog]

That sounds awful risky, these guys have the force as you know, they could probably sense you coming a mile away. Plus you run the risk of being executed as spies. Durring much of the clone wars, while I'm sure there was a certain level of security, I dont think general technological information would be hard to come by. You might even find a black market dealer willing to take some Gold-pressed Latenum in exchange.
I think your problem would be in trying to figure out how to reverse the effect to get back home, that could take time. Plus you already know who the hidden Sith lord is and if he suddenly decides to come meet you on your ship while playing the role of the simple chancellor, then you could have problems.
How would you deal with a spy on board your ship accessing your computer and discovering the Star Wars tapes?

[GStone]

That sounds awful risky, these guys have the force as you know, they could probably sense you coming a mile away. Plus you run the risk of being executed as spies.

Well, since the force does have a physical component to it, I'd have my sensors check for a similarity to Trek psionic energy. Since I'd be talking for a brief time with Ben, my sensors can scan to see if there is anything similar. Then, I'd take a personal force field generator and give it to everyone onboard, having it set to block jedi/sith psychic energy. I'd have my sensors check to see if they can pick up on force energy. We know that it has at least a physical component to it because it can interact with physical matter. Both the personal force fields and the ship shields would be set to repel force energy, too.

That should be enough to 'block' them, at least for a little while. And given that their powers are diminishing in certain respects because of what Palpatine is doing, it'd be easier to hide against the jedi. I'd also set up potential 'force blocking/negating bombs/traps'. If the ability to see the future is dependent upon the use of Force energy, weakening its use in certain places might weaken an indivudal force user's powers and make it easier to attack. Shrouding the people and the ship would be the primary responsiblity though. That's the key to the whole thing.

Durring much of the clone wars, while I'm sure there was a certain level of security, I dont think general technological information would be hard to come by. You might even find a black market dealer willing to take some Gold-pressed Latenum in exchange.

Maybe, but I'd be more hesitant to get something from a black market dealer. Palp, some other sith sider person or jedi might have found a way around my deception and laid a trap for me. With going directly to the sources, my sensors can look through solid matter to look for hidden people or security measures.

From orbit, I can scan the planet and look for the specific sites I want and make a transport clone of the computers in places, like the jedi temple. I might have to do section of it at a time, but it's doable. It might be best to go after yoda and make a clone of him before Palp or Anakin, since his powers are effected by Palpatine. Study his force energy and make better force blockers for the shields and go after Palp and Anakin.

But, all that might be unnecesary. If I can find him with the transporter and beam him up, I can keep him in the pattern buffer and knock him out somehow. I clone him, keep the clone unconscious and erase the memories of the real one before putting him back where he was. The clone is kept under constant sedation, but there are manipulations done to his brain to block him from activating his force powers.

I think your problem would be in trying to figure out how to reverse the effect to get back home, that could take time.

That would be a priority. But, I've got a sovy. All I need is some raw material for the replicators and the crew is set. We can stay out of the area.

Plus you already know who the hidden Sith lord is and if he suddenly decides to come meet you on your ship while playing the role of the simple chancellor, then you could have problems.

I can claim we don't want to risk hurting him, while we are working on the ship. I can say that my people often speak over communication stations because we often are talking with people far away.

How would you deal with a spy on board your ship accessing your computer and discovering the Star Wars tapes?

Very tight security detail, restricted access only to places without access terminals and site-to-site transports. But, the best thing is not letting them on board in the first place.

[TheRedFear]

I don't think you need to go to such risky lengths to get midichlorian samples. You can simply wait until sometime after the battle, then politely invite General Kenobi over for a friendly dinner and exchange of cultural information. Don't give him anything partularly sensitive or useful. Then, politely ask if you can examine a blood sample because you're curious about midichlorians which you don't have where you come from. Being as common as they are in Star Wars, I can't imagine why he'd refuse. Worst case scenario, he says no.

At which point you simply wait for some battle to take place involving Jedi(You know exactly when and where they'll take place and their outcomes, thanks to complete EU knowledge and access) then when it's over, go claim the blood spatter samples, or severed limbs/dead bodies that were left behind

Presto bango. Midichlorian samples, Zero risk.Might not even have to go that far. Don't all living things in Wars have them? It's just that Jedi have much higher conentrations of them.

[Mr. Oragahn]

All of that is entirely true. But, after the engines are 'fixed', we hide away and come back and make a transport clone of certain individuals, like Palpatine and Yoda and Anakin.

You mean... ?
Since when has the UFP been at ease and capable of controlling cloning processes.
If they are -evidence required of course- what did forbid them, or their enemies, from doing so?
How where those clones worshiping the Founders created?

[Roondar]

All of that is entirely true. But, after the engines are 'fixed', we hide away and come back and make a transport clone of certain individuals, like Palpatine and Yoda and Anakin.

You mean... ?
Since when has the UFP been at ease and capable of controlling cloning processes.
If they are -evidence required of course- what did forbid them, or their enemies, from doing so?
How where those clones worshiping the Founders created?

I am quite sure, after having seen almost every single episode of ST and every movie that the Federation would not approve of creating clones. Nor does the Starfleet strike me as the kind of organisation whose employees routinely attempt to get what they want from people behind their backs.

So in essence: no chance in hell they'll do this. It's just not the 'Federation way'. Now, if they where Romulans....

[GStone]

All of that is entirely true. But, after the engines are 'fixed', we hide away and come back and make a transport clone of certain individuals, like Palpatine and Yoda and Anakin.

You mean... ?
Since when has the UFP been at ease and capable of controlling cloning processes.

TNG: Up The Long Ladder= Human colonists settle on a planet, but decide to use clones to keep them going because only 5 people survived the crash. They did have genetic degredation over the next couple centuries, but I'm not expecting to be there that long. The Mariposans tried to get genetic stuff from Pulaski and Riker to stave off their destruction, but those clones were killed.

Also, there's using the transporter to make cloned material, like in TNG: Second Chances. There is also DS9: A Man Alone. Bashir found 'complex proteins', composed of DNA fragments on pieces of biosample containers. He "set up a bioregenerative field to accelerate the cellular development". He proceeded to "reconstruct the DNA sequence" and found Ibudan was making a clone of himself to kill and fake his own death, blaming Odo. In a few days of being in the tank, the clone was to become fully functional, like anyone else.

If they are -evidence required of course- what did forbid them, or their enemies, from doing so?

The knowlede of eventual genetic degredation with some methods (the mariposans did presumably use Fed cloning tech, but it's unknown if their cloning tech has been perfected- DS9: A Man Alone might be evidence of them perfecting it, but it's kinda sketchy how it'd work in the long run with the same genetic material); it didn't stop the Federation's enemies (NEM: Shinzon, who was also specifically given 'temporal DNA', which is what caused his eventual degredation). Riker said the mariposans were thieves for taking their DNA and Pulaski didn't object to Riker killing the clones before they were fully grown.

How where those clones worshiping the Founders created?

The canon never said.

[Jedi Master Spock]

Frankly, I would be all set to violate the Prime Directive and meddle with the workings of destiny for the greater good of the Star Wars galaxy.

The first step is to convince Kenobi to take steps to prevent Anakin's betrayal...

... the nice thing about trying to convince Force users of the truth is that they can usually tell when a non-Force users is lying to them, and they know that, and it's not going to be too hard for Captain "Jedi Master Spock" here to convince them that he's not trained in the ways of the force.

[Roondar]

Frankly, I would be all set to violate the Prime Directive and meddle with the workings of destiny for the greater good of the Star Wars galaxy.

I suppose it's good that you or I are not actually Starship captains. The Prime Directive can be quite limiting, if not plainly a bad idea at times ;)

[Jedi Master Spock]

The Prime Directive is routinely violated by all great starship captains, of course.