Let's say - hypothetically - you've been offered a director's slot on the ReRevised Edition of the Star Wars hexology, or a Star Trek: [INSERT TITLE IF NECESSARY] Remastered and Revised project.
You are in the perfect position to fix one thing that's been bugging you about the franchise. You can insert dialogue, digitally re-cast characters or use look-alikes and computer technology to shoot entirely new scenes, fix the warp speed problem, replace the walkers with hovertanks, provide scale bars in every FX shot, add torridly explicit love scenes between Luke and Leia - any thing.
What do you "fix" (or change) - and how do you do it?
Challenge: Do it better
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Jedi Master Spock
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Mr. Oragahn
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Duh, that's a lot, especially if, for Star Wars, we have to correct things from the films' latest versions.
The poll:
- Han and Greedo. Back to the original exchange.
- Remove Jar Jar Binks' stupid jokes from TPM.
- Replace Hayden Christensen with any other actor. Eventually, that way, I could actually accept the new Ghost at the end of Jedi.
- Make Anakin's switch to the Dark Side more paced and logical.
- Give Vader a real and full TK rage at the of ROTS.
- Replace the Ewoks with Wookies. I loved the Ewoks as a kid though, but I guess that if they never existed, I'd simply love the Wookies instead.
Technically, I'd probably rework the OT from the older version, enhance or replace VFX, but keep actors and lines like they were.
I'm remaining classic here.
If I was a total bitch, I'd simply redo all battles from Star Wars, as they don't make much sense to me.
So, well, if I had to choose... and I didn't see other people's ideas... I don't know.
Maybe have the Death Star turn into a massive disco ball that fires super streams of jelly.
The poll:
- Han and Greedo. Back to the original exchange.
- Remove Jar Jar Binks' stupid jokes from TPM.
- Replace Hayden Christensen with any other actor. Eventually, that way, I could actually accept the new Ghost at the end of Jedi.
- Make Anakin's switch to the Dark Side more paced and logical.
- Give Vader a real and full TK rage at the of ROTS.
- Replace the Ewoks with Wookies. I loved the Ewoks as a kid though, but I guess that if they never existed, I'd simply love the Wookies instead.
Technically, I'd probably rework the OT from the older version, enhance or replace VFX, but keep actors and lines like they were.
I'm remaining classic here.
If I was a total bitch, I'd simply redo all battles from Star Wars, as they don't make much sense to me.
So, well, if I had to choose... and I didn't see other people's ideas... I don't know.
Maybe have the Death Star turn into a massive disco ball that fires super streams of jelly.
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AnonymousRedShirtEnsign
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For Star Wars:
Delete the entire prequel trilogy and change the numbers on the OT to 1,2,&3(or start from scratch on the PT). Although I would also like to change RotJ so it has nothing to do with Tatooine or a Death Star (Jabba is on Kessel or some other planet, and the rebels attack the Kuat ship yards instead) I don't think that it could be done well enough to bother. Oh yeah, I'd also take out that crappy music scene at Jabba's palace.
Delete the entire prequel trilogy and change the numbers on the OT to 1,2,&3(or start from scratch on the PT). Although I would also like to change RotJ so it has nothing to do with Tatooine or a Death Star (Jabba is on Kessel or some other planet, and the rebels attack the Kuat ship yards instead) I don't think that it could be done well enough to bother. Oh yeah, I'd also take out that crappy music scene at Jabba's palace.
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Praeothmin
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For Wars:
-Actually have competent Stormtroopers, who don't suck at targetting, use a modicum of strategy for boarding and combat, and who are not so wimpy as to lose to teddy bears. That battle was horrible.
-A lot less corny love scenes, but I would keep all of them.
-Anakin to Vader in a more tempred way, and remove the "NOOOOO!" at the end of RoTS.
-The Jedi Masters in Palpatine's office would have died while at least looking like competent fighters, and not like complete morons just waiting to get killed. Ditto with Darth Maul. In fact, he would have lived, and I would have left Darth Sidious out off the movies.
-"HAN... SHOT... FIRST!!!"
-NO JAR-JAR... Bad Lucas, very bad Lucas...
-Continuity woul have been important... Luke and Leia are 18 in ANH, not 20... Victory-class Star Destroyer, not Venators...
-You don't kill Mace Windu, the most Bada** Jedi alive like that... Give him a good death, like fighting vs Palpatine AND Anakin at the same time, and at least chopping giving them trouble like you wouldn't believe.
Then, I might believe Anakin is the most powerfull Jedi there is.
Star Trek then:
-No STV... It was bad the first time I saw it, and it's even worse now.
-Continuity, continuity, continuity...
-No more Berman, no more Bragga, give to Joss Whedon instead... "Shiny!"
-No wimpifying the Borg... They are a force, and a menace to be reckoned with, let them be...
-How big are the G** da** ships? Better scaling, specially the Defiant...
-No "Endgame" in Voyager, that was a cheap cope out.
-ST:FC, less humour, more action and Borg and the human race to the stars.
-FT:Nemesis, no dune-buggy darn it! Change the end of the battle, instead of "no more torpedoes", change to "torpedo tubes disabled".
-ST:Insurrection... Bleh, just Bleh, throw it away with STV...
-Better fighting choreagraphy, faster and more exciting.
That's all for now...
-Actually have competent Stormtroopers, who don't suck at targetting, use a modicum of strategy for boarding and combat, and who are not so wimpy as to lose to teddy bears. That battle was horrible.
-A lot less corny love scenes, but I would keep all of them.
-Anakin to Vader in a more tempred way, and remove the "NOOOOO!" at the end of RoTS.
-The Jedi Masters in Palpatine's office would have died while at least looking like competent fighters, and not like complete morons just waiting to get killed. Ditto with Darth Maul. In fact, he would have lived, and I would have left Darth Sidious out off the movies.
-"HAN... SHOT... FIRST!!!"
-NO JAR-JAR... Bad Lucas, very bad Lucas...
-Continuity woul have been important... Luke and Leia are 18 in ANH, not 20... Victory-class Star Destroyer, not Venators...
-You don't kill Mace Windu, the most Bada** Jedi alive like that... Give him a good death, like fighting vs Palpatine AND Anakin at the same time, and at least chopping giving them trouble like you wouldn't believe.
Then, I might believe Anakin is the most powerfull Jedi there is.
Star Trek then:
-No STV... It was bad the first time I saw it, and it's even worse now.
-Continuity, continuity, continuity...
-No more Berman, no more Bragga, give to Joss Whedon instead... "Shiny!"
-No wimpifying the Borg... They are a force, and a menace to be reckoned with, let them be...
-How big are the G** da** ships? Better scaling, specially the Defiant...
-No "Endgame" in Voyager, that was a cheap cope out.
-ST:FC, less humour, more action and Borg and the human race to the stars.
-FT:Nemesis, no dune-buggy darn it! Change the end of the battle, instead of "no more torpedoes", change to "torpedo tubes disabled".
-ST:Insurrection... Bleh, just Bleh, throw it away with STV...
-Better fighting choreagraphy, faster and more exciting.
That's all for now...
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Mr. Oragahn
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I actually love Windu's death. You just so want to remake the scene, this is why it's so good, because you hate how he got owned, how he got betrayed, how all tings could have been stopped and the galaxy's history written in a whole different way during that last minute.
Just because Anakin betrayed the Jedi.
What I don't like in that scene, however, is how Windu needed to make a big swing instead of just poking his blade into Palp's head.
He pretty much lowered his defense by doing so. Maybe he needed to be dramatic.
Those Jedi in Palp's office sucked big times. They didn't do anything. Just stand there, seem to be completely clueless about how to move, place themselves, corner their enemy and even handle their own weapon.
They lokked like subpar amateurs,not beacuse they got owned, but because they simply didn't even fight.
Lazy Lucas.
Oh yeah, the way Maul was axed... bleh. It's even more embarassing since the whole ballet was particularily enjoyable to look at.
I'd have prefered see Obi-Wan directly Force propel the lightsabre into Maul's head instead of executing his fancy salto loop and Dark Side precog be damned.
Just because Anakin betrayed the Jedi.
What I don't like in that scene, however, is how Windu needed to make a big swing instead of just poking his blade into Palp's head.
He pretty much lowered his defense by doing so. Maybe he needed to be dramatic.
Those Jedi in Palp's office sucked big times. They didn't do anything. Just stand there, seem to be completely clueless about how to move, place themselves, corner their enemy and even handle their own weapon.
They lokked like subpar amateurs,not beacuse they got owned, but because they simply didn't even fight.
Lazy Lucas.
Oh yeah, the way Maul was axed... bleh. It's even more embarassing since the whole ballet was particularily enjoyable to look at.
I'd have prefered see Obi-Wan directly Force propel the lightsabre into Maul's head instead of executing his fancy salto loop and Dark Side precog be damned.
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Mike DiCenso
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Most people have already mentioned some of the changes I would make to Star Trek or Star Wars, so I'll just go over one or two more beyond that:
- Keep ST:ENT as a prequel series, but eliminate the awful Temporal Cold War story arcs.
- Change the NX-01 registry to some different, like "NRX" or "NCX". Call it the "Enterprise class", and change the appearence of the ship to something much more primitive looking, but still recognizable to the shapes of previous "hero" starship designs. I would, however, keep the interior sets pretty much as they are.
- Change the first and second season stories of ST:ENT into some more like the 4th season story arcs. Keep the Xindi Story arc, but alter it so that Earh is threatened, but not actually attacked, and the Xindi are not being manipulated by a Temporal Cold War Faction anymore.
-The "Broken Bow" pilot can still introduce Earth to the Klingons, but it takes place over weeks, not days, and would more clearly place Qo'nos at least 50 or more light years from Earth (again, eliminate the Temporal Cold War aspect of Klaag's mission).
- Eliminate the phase cannon and pistol tech, and eliminate or severely degrade the transporter. No one gets transported, except maybe near the very end of season 7.
-Mike
- Keep ST:ENT as a prequel series, but eliminate the awful Temporal Cold War story arcs.
- Change the NX-01 registry to some different, like "NRX" or "NCX". Call it the "Enterprise class", and change the appearence of the ship to something much more primitive looking, but still recognizable to the shapes of previous "hero" starship designs. I would, however, keep the interior sets pretty much as they are.
- Change the first and second season stories of ST:ENT into some more like the 4th season story arcs. Keep the Xindi Story arc, but alter it so that Earh is threatened, but not actually attacked, and the Xindi are not being manipulated by a Temporal Cold War Faction anymore.
-The "Broken Bow" pilot can still introduce Earth to the Klingons, but it takes place over weeks, not days, and would more clearly place Qo'nos at least 50 or more light years from Earth (again, eliminate the Temporal Cold War aspect of Klaag's mission).
- Eliminate the phase cannon and pistol tech, and eliminate or severely degrade the transporter. No one gets transported, except maybe near the very end of season 7.
-Mike
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AnonymousRedShirtEnsign
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If I can't get rid of the PT, then just change everything about Anikin. And give him a real rock and a hard place decision that causes him to betray the Jedi, rather than his Padme dreams. Completely change the Anikin-Padme romance to be less ridiculous.
Change Jar Jar and the rest of the Gungans. I don't mind comic relief if done well, in voices that don't make me wish I were deaf.
Have Luke's last name be that of his uncle, and never mention the name Anikin Skywalker in the OT, so that way you find out who Vader realy is in the PT and there is some plot twist watching it either way.
Change Jar Jar and the rest of the Gungans. I don't mind comic relief if done well, in voices that don't make me wish I were deaf.
Have Luke's last name be that of his uncle, and never mention the name Anikin Skywalker in the OT, so that way you find out who Vader realy is in the PT and there is some plot twist watching it either way.
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GStone
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Damn you for limiting me to just one. Okay, if it's just one, it's Anakin. In ep 2, he talks to Ben about the nest of gundars or what ever the fuck they're called. He says he rescued Ben and they chuckle and Anakin says he's doing better. Ben asks if the scratches are healed and Anakin says they are. It didn't get its toxins into me, though. (it's because of these scratches that it did get toxins into him and he just seemed fine when he was examined; the toxins cause mind screw ups and it creates a dual personality in Anakin, breaking his whole psyche into 2 halves, the heroic and sweet Anakin and the other is his darker impulses that Palpatine nurtures into Vader) Anakin says Vader was concerned toxins got into me. The lift stops and Ben looks at him puzzled, like Anakin never told him about Vader before. Later, Anakin brings up Vader again and Ben asks who's Vader and Anakin keeps ranting (maybe when he's asked to spy on the chancellor) and Vader's name is brought up by Anakin during one of the many scenes he's in with just Padme and she asks when she's gonna meet his friend. He says Vader keeps to himself mostly, since he had to be force to where his mechanical suit to live (a part of Anakin's precognitive abilities is showing up here) and when he's lying on the table, he looks over and sees Vader walking up to him. He's full on cyborg and stalker breathing when he stops. There's a touching moment where he says Palpatine says Padme's dead and Vader "kills" Anakin (force choks or something) and walks away. Then, we see Vader moving to beside the emperor and crosses his arms.
That's what I would have done.
If it was for Trek, I'd get rid of that damn dune buggy. If there's gonna be a wheeled vehicle in case there are energy fields that prevent continuum distortion based propulsion from working and you gotta go along the ground, I don't want a dune buggy. I want a shuttle that turns into a dune buggy with a trio of pop out guns, like the phaser balls on peregrine fighters. You want the 2 tiny wings on the shuttle? Fine, but then they fold up and panels on the sides open that are large enough for one up turned wheel to pop out of each. They fold down and the shuttle floats down. And that thing better have the best damn shock absorbs ever. Shots inside the cabin better not be shaking. I don't care how uneven the terran is. There's no excuse. And no squeaking brakes, either. That can be fixed in post.
That's what I would have done.
If it was for Trek, I'd get rid of that damn dune buggy. If there's gonna be a wheeled vehicle in case there are energy fields that prevent continuum distortion based propulsion from working and you gotta go along the ground, I don't want a dune buggy. I want a shuttle that turns into a dune buggy with a trio of pop out guns, like the phaser balls on peregrine fighters. You want the 2 tiny wings on the shuttle? Fine, but then they fold up and panels on the sides open that are large enough for one up turned wheel to pop out of each. They fold down and the shuttle floats down. And that thing better have the best damn shock absorbs ever. Shots inside the cabin better not be shaking. I don't care how uneven the terran is. There's no excuse. And no squeaking brakes, either. That can be fixed in post.
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Assimilated_Sith
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For Wars...
Jar Jar - Completely change his personality. Instead of a ditzy, clumsy moron, make him more like a rebellious (or at least non-conformist) teen-ager. That way, some moronity could be expected (what teen-ager doesn't act like a moron at one time or another?), and the way he becomes more mellow and responsible later on becomes much more understandable.
Midochlorians - Get rid of them. Or incorpotate them into the OT. Either/or works just as well.
Padme and Anakin's love affair - Make the dialogue more believeable. "Space Opera" does not mean "Soap Opera."
The Death Star - The first one took 20 years to build and the second one only 4? (In both cases, only if you disregard and/or are unfamiliar with the EU.)
That's about it.
For Trek...
There's way too much there. Maybe I'll think up some later.
Jar Jar - Completely change his personality. Instead of a ditzy, clumsy moron, make him more like a rebellious (or at least non-conformist) teen-ager. That way, some moronity could be expected (what teen-ager doesn't act like a moron at one time or another?), and the way he becomes more mellow and responsible later on becomes much more understandable.
Midochlorians - Get rid of them. Or incorpotate them into the OT. Either/or works just as well.
Padme and Anakin's love affair - Make the dialogue more believeable. "Space Opera" does not mean "Soap Opera."
The Death Star - The first one took 20 years to build and the second one only 4? (In both cases, only if you disregard and/or are unfamiliar with the EU.)
That's about it.
For Trek...
There's way too much there. Maybe I'll think up some later.
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SailorSaturn13
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In no Particular order...
- Replace ewoks by Wookies - as prviously planned.
- Create Qui-Gonn's ghost.
- Don't make such a long scene with Emperor shooting at Luke . Instead let him order Vader to kill Luke and then :
"- Now You see, how...
Vader charged Luke , then suddenly turned and stroke - and it wasn't Luke who was stricken.
- Arrgh - was all the Emperor managed to get out. Vader charged at him, but suddenly Emperor's hand grabbed him by his throat...
Emperor and Vader - they both fell into the shaft...."
- Replace ewoks by Wookies - as prviously planned.
- Create Qui-Gonn's ghost.
- Don't make such a long scene with Emperor shooting at Luke . Instead let him order Vader to kill Luke and then :
"- Now You see, how...
Vader charged Luke , then suddenly turned and stroke - and it wasn't Luke who was stricken.
- Arrgh - was all the Emperor managed to get out. Vader charged at him, but suddenly Emperor's hand grabbed him by his throat...
Emperor and Vader - they both fell into the shaft...."
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SailorSaturn13
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