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General Warning Tally for staff... 
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Starship Captain
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MIKE DICENSO +5 WARNINGS

Mike Dicenso wrote:
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
-Mike


MIKE DICENSO +5 WARNINGS
because i'm still irritated about that poor clown. HA!


Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:03 pm
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Starship Captain
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now THAT was unjustifiable.


Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:11 pm
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Starship Captain

Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:28 pm
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Demoderation hearing for any staff member that has allowed SWSt free reign should be called


Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:19 am
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Starship Captain
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seriously, all joking aside, let's please not start that again. it was a huge debacle and we never got anywhere because, as we have just seen again, the board is willing to put up with just about anything to have a lively debate. my direct statement that anyone who got caught up again was an idiot was NEVER EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED WITH A RESPONSE as the entire board got caught up again. it's worthless.
in the end, i called him a jackass, for which i will be warned, and i'm pretty much done.

hey, if you're reading this swst, now that you're clearly no longer beset by whatever problems were keeping you from the board (snicker) maybe you could go back to the religious thread you left dangling after i fucking stomped your ass. or, you know, any of the other five thousand threads you left hanging. isn't it at least a little sad that for you to feel comfortable debating here again, you were forced to start your own thread in which you gave your side such an advantage that it was impossible for the trek side to win from the beginning? i mean, you blatantly admitted it by saying, multiple times, 'that's not admissible because i set the rules and i said you can't use that.' jesus man, i actually feel sorry for you.


Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:39 am
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Starship Captain
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STARWARSSTARTREK +95 WARNINGS

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
Okay, having you three follow me is starting to freak me out.

mojo wrote:
it is your fine, sculpted buttocks which keep us this entranced.

Admiral Breetai wrote:
They remind me of two delightful kittens i once played with as a boy.

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
JESUS FUCK! I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT, DUDE!]

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
By the way, how did you guys manage to get into my home so easily? Was it magic?
Some kind of magic that only creepy assholes know?

Mr. Oragahn wrote:
HA HA HA!
I assure you that we mean you no harm.
We only wish to amuse you, and to smell your fear.

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
Yeah, I've heard that before.
Look, I'll give you guys one hour, but that's all.



STARWARSSTARTREK +95 WARNINGS
for believing in magic at his age


Last edited by mojo on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Nov 30, 2011 4:49 am
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Starship Captain
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MIKE DICENSO +15 WARNINGS

Mike Dicenso wrote:
That's right. They call me 'Rainbow Wilt'. But between you and me, his record was simple to break. Men are easier to seduce.
-Mike

Praeothmin wrote:
You...?
Nahh.
Come on.
That's completely...
You couldn't really do that?

Mike Dicenso wrote:
>:)

Praeothmin wrote:
..?!?

MIKE DICENSO +15 WARNINGS
because WTF?!


Last edited by mojo on Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:21 am
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Starship Captain
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MIKE DICENSO +60 WARNINGS

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
And then, I plan to taker over the world! Mikey, in case you're wondering where you fit into these plans..
...you don't. If you wanna know where our relationship stands, well..
...

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
...and so you see, sex with you is really just like all these cars out here.

Mike Dicenso wrote:
Sexy and powerful?
-Mike

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
Crappy.

Mike Dicenso wrote:
Oh.
Anyway, I have AIDS.
-Mike

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
W-What??
THAT'S JUST FUCKED!


MIKE DICENSO +60 WARNINGS
for dying painfully eight months later


Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:44 am
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Starship Captain
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MIKE DICENSO +15 WARNINGS

Mike Dicenso wrote:
Hey!
So what kinda eggs you got in your pockets today, huh?
Those snails surely gave my ass a good time!
-Mike

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
No more snails for you, my friend.
These eggs are of a very different nature.
These, my friend, are giant centipede eggs.
These have legs.
Many, many legs.
They have legs that will gently tear your anus. From INSIDE.

Mike Dicenso wrote:
I'm not sure I'm ready for that...
..those bear eggs weren't pleasant.
-Mike


MIKE DICENSO +15 WARNINGS
for being some kind of ass/egg addict


Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:59 am
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Starship Captain
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MIKE DICENSO -100 WARNINGS

Mike Dicenso wrote:
Look, if you're gonna live in my fridge, I'm gonna have to start collecting rent.
And, uh, utilities.
It's only fair.

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
But there's no furniture in here!
IT FUCKING SUCKS!

Mike Dicenso wrote:
So? Move out, then, loser.
My fridge,
my rules.

StarWarsStarTrek wrote:
This ain't over, man.
This ain't the first fridge I've lived in.
You'll be sorry.
I hope you like your milk with EXTRA URINE.


MIKE DICENSO -100 WARNINGS
for giving swst the business


Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:13 am
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Starship Captain
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MIKE DICENSO +35 WARNINGS

Mike Dicenso wrote:
I took four tabs...
I don't think it's working.

Praeothmin wrote:
I know. Me too.
Oragahn ripped your ass off!

Mike Dicenso wrote:
Wait..
I feel it..
It's like a worm crawling in my ears...
HAIR --- ON FIRE!
-Mike

Praeothmin wrote:
WHAT THE CHRIST!?
IT'S ON MY ARM!
GET IT OFF!

Mr. Oragahn wrote:
Mellow out, dudes!

Praeothmin wrote:
ZOMBIE EINSTEIN!
RUN, YOU PUSSY!

Mike Dicenso wrote:
FUCKITY SHIT!
-Mike



MIKE DICENSO +35 WARNINGS
for freaking me right the fuck out


Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:28 am
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Jedi Master

Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:24 pm
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mojo, you - and I say that with the utmost respect - are an IDIOT...


mojo, +8573495985 BaGazillionzzzzzzz warnings...






For forcing me to spill my coffee...


And it was good coffee, damn it... :(


Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:20 pm
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Starship Captain
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Hey mojo, why don't you write a fanfic starring the members of this board?

Keep the demented personalities though.


Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:55 am
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Jedi Master

Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:24 pm
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Khas wrote:
Hey mojo, why don't you write a fanfic starring the members of this board?

Keep the demented personalities though.


In other words, depict us as we are in real life?

Where's the fiction in that?


Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:04 pm
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Starship Captain
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Tiny Balls, No Dick:
The Adventures of Captain Mike Dicenso and his Lover StarWarsStarTrek

Chapter One
"God, my balls are tiny," Captain Mike Dicenso muttered under his breath as he slowly paced the bridge of his ship, the star destroyer known to the galaxy as the Pencil Dick. A single tear rolled down his cheek as the bridge crew snickered and laughed at the tiny girlie steps which formed his stride, legs held tight together in a vain attempt to relieve the terrible ache where his genitalia would have been, had God been merciful. "It's not my fault!" he screamed, shaking his fists in the air. "You try being born with balls half the size of marbles and a penis so small that you're forced to catch ants and houseflies to.. share the physical act of love with!" As the bridge erupted into hysterical laughter, a storm trooper's legs collapsed under him and he knocked himself unconscious as his head smacked against a control console, activating several buttons at once.
The entire ship veered off course and rolled onto her side, throwing Captain Dicenso toward the wall. He flew, screaming shrilly like a woman, pedaling his feet in the air as if he could ride an invisible bicycle to safety. It had no effect, of course, and he managed to smash groin first against seventeen consoles of varying types, breaking four into pieces and smashing another instantly into powder as he passed. It was almost a relief when he finally came to rest on the wall which had just become the new floor, and he would have gladly kissed that new floor had he not somehow managed to crush his tiny, deformed coin purse against the cold metal. He gritted his teeth against the agony of this, his fifth ruptured testicle in as many days.
In seconds, he was surrounded by concerned faces. "Sir! Are you injured? Is it your ridiculously small testicles again?" a storm trooper asked, his helmet under his arm and his other hand reaching out to help his captain to his feet. Captain Dicenso had managed to raise himself onto his knees, gasping and sobbing. "Don't touch me!" he cried, as the trooper's glove touched the bare flesh of his hand. "Noo..aaarGHHHHH," he screamed, falling back to the ground, his entire body shaking violently with the force of the orgasm which was inevitable for him upon physical contact with another male of any species or race.
The storm trooper, now even more concerned, was mere inches from touching his hand again before Captain Dicenso could regain enough control over his body to protest. "Get off of me, I said!" Mike said, gasping for breath and wishing for a new pair of pants. "I'm fine, I just slipped on the ice!" After fifteen seconds of dead silence, the baffled trooper walked off to help other crew hurt in the fall.
As Mike regained his feet, and somewhat regained his composure, his second in command approached him, pretending not to know what had just happened. "Sir!" officer StarWarsStarTrek barked, "I have news on the status of the ..modifications you wished to make to the outside of the ship!" Captain Mike's expression softened a bit, the ache in his loins lessening. "Proceed," he said, in the kind of falsetto one speaks in after smashing and breaking seventeen computer consoles with one's miniscule genitals.
StarWarsStarTrek stood tall and saluted his captain. "The modifications are now complete, sir. It was an incredible investment of time and energy, but the ship now looks exactly like a huge, swollen purple penis. And as you commanded, all turbolaser batteries have been moved to the head of the ..ship, so that when they are fired it will appear that the ship is ...anatomically functional. Unfortunately we have not as of yet found a way to change the color of the turbolaser bolts to either yellow or white, but the scientists are still working on it."
StarWarsStarTrek fell silent as the smile on Mike's face grew wider. "Excellent, SWST. Thanks to the Empire, I now have the largest dick in the galaxy. Let's go to my old hometown and see what that bunch of cruel douchebags have to say now. We'll see who has the pencil dick!"
StarWarsStarTrek attempted to salute through his laughter, but slipped and fell, breaking his tailbone against Mike's ruined testicles. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK," Captain Dicenso screamed, cupping his groin in his hands and falling over once again onto the floor, moaning in pain as the inevitable reaction to contact with SWST's body kicked in, jerking his body around as if in a seizure.



alright, if that doesn't get me warned or banned, maybe i'll take a stab at something longer. i like your idea, obviously.


Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:39 pm
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Admiral
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Praeothmin wrote:
mojo, you - and I say that with the utmost respect - are an IDIOT...


mojo, +8573495985 BaGazillionzzzzzzz warnings...






For forcing me to spill my coffee...


And it was good coffee, damn it... :(


I just wrote a financial formula that allows me to condense the immense amount of warnings into a single one, by decree of reevaluation, the sort of retro-activation of off-products by parity, supported by an increase of 2.4 points of the transfer to six zones of differential management in the aforementioned central groups. This provides a sure and clever leveling of the possible transaction of two of the most "high stretch" values on the M3 curve, as respected by most of the analysts. Since there's nothing artificial, the conclusion leads to the securing of the entirety, minus 1, of all solidified warnings thereafter, following further considerations to the primary conventions from November.


Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:45 pm
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