Starfleet Jedi

To start off I have to say that this game is nothing like what everybody said it was going to be. Mike Dicenso informed me that this game would be the RPG to end all RPG's and because I believed him to be an honest, fun-loving guy I took him at his word and vowed to not rest until I'd compiled the data necessary to complete the best possible review that could ever be done on this game. I started at approximately 1pm 5/24/2012 I only just finished and I am so tired that I'm not sure who or where I am anymore, my wife's phone is more powerful than my computer and I can't find a current episode of The Office anywhere.

So this game started out great. About two hours into the opening screen I realized I needed to press some sort of button to get things moving. The least you could've done is give me a little heads up on that one Dicenso (what an asshole). After I got started I raced some dune buggies, motorcycles and crap and not only was there no story at all, I beat it at least 1,304,488 times in the hopes that I'd see the alternate ending that Dicenso continually insisted was there and that if I didn't see it I wasn't trying hard enough. WHAT-A-HILARIOUS-JOKE DICENSO!... My kids don't even recognize me anymore because of my obsession with this stupid whore of a game. There is no equipment screen anywhere to be found. Also, the slots that hold material in the "tires" cannot be accessed if there really is any materia in the game to equip! Either I'm the crappiest DIRT: Showdown player that ever lived or Mike Dicenso is full of shit!

Okay look.. I get that I'm probably coming off as a little harsh toward Mike Dicenso but how would you feel if you wasted two years of your life reviewing a game that he claimed would "change my life". Well it certainly did change my life, Mike Dicenso. I hate you.

Sincerely Yours,

TheRainKing777

What an idiot.
The game clearly states in the opening crawl that it must be beaten 1,304,489 times in order to unlock the special rpg mode. Materia is not equipped to tires, by the way. It's equipped to mufflers. I'd put that out of my mind altogether if i were you, though, since it can only be found during the FIRST playthrough. This is done by collecting the icons labeled "THIS IS A MATERIA. COLLECT IT," in type so large it literally fills the entire screen.
The game's AI connects to the internet each time it is started, and scours all sw/st versus boards looking for negative reviews. Now that you've posted this ridiculous, inane, misinformed review, your only option is to create a new LIVE ID and begin again.
This time, try not to be retarded.

I see that the sad blight known as MDDS* is contagious to sockpuppets. Mojo and certain SDN types were the only carriers before.

(*Mike DiCenso Derangement Syndrome)

2046 wrote:I see that the sad blight known as MDDS* is contagious to sockpuppets. Mojo and certain SDN types were the only carriers before.

(*Mike DiCenso Derangement Syndrome)

Sockpuppets?

yes!

Somebody help me out here. Where is the sockpuppet?
Apologies if I'm being an idiot, but I get nervous when people start talking about sockpuppets in a thread created by Rain. It took extraordinary measures in PM to convince Mike he wasn't a sock account years ago. Rain was actually irritated by how much personal info I was willing to spill to do it. Not that I blame Mike for the suspicion.
Just for the record, I no longer suffer from that ailment. In fact, my long hiatus was mostly due to shame over how badly I treated him (and anyone who tried to convince me to let it go). Mike is a good guy.

Good cop, chimp-sausaged insanely bad cop.

This is madness. I refuse to play that pooplaced video game any longer. Even when I unlocked secret hidden character Derek Jeter, it still was not fun to play. That's probably because Michael Wayne Alexander Dicenso lies about everything in life. Oragami, you have no idea what this pit of a game has done to me thanks to Dicenso. Don't judge me until you've walked in my DIRT: Showdown covered shoes.

TheRainKing777 wrote: That's probably because Michael Wayne Alexander Dicenso lies about everything in life.

Please be aware that I've already given you the friendly warning about posting this type of baiting/spam. You're treading on thin ice.

Tronoya, I'm not sure we're talking about the same person.

WHO THE HELL WAS THE SOCK

TRONoya.
Not bad, not bad.

I agree Tronoya. Not bad. Not bad at all. Good going. Nice play. Now suck it up and get back in the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cwdrv_LDE0

SOOOOOOOOOOOCK!

mojo wrote:SOOOOOOOOOOOCK!

You're talking about yourself, I'm afraid.