Starfleet Jedi

RLM's AOTC review got me to thinking. What is your favorite bad line from a Star Wars or Star Trek film/episode? You know, that one line that never fails to make you cringe every time you hear it, and you think "what schmuck wrote this dreck? Didn't anyone proofread this and say 'this is a stupid line?'"

My personal favorite is from Attack of the Clones, when Obi-Wan arrives at Geonosis following Jango Fett. He flies over the assembled Trade Federation battleships and says "there's an unusual concentration of Federation ships over there R4"

As opposed to what? A usual concentration? What exactly would be the usual concentration of Federation ships for a given area?

That one always makes me cringe.

"Anakin, you're breaking my heart!" *sob* *cry* *sob again*


:)

That's the worst line I've ever heard in any SW or ST movie...
Ever...

No, no, no... the one that really hurts:

"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and
irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here
everything's soft... and smooth..."

I mean, you can't get much worse than that!

Now from Star Trek the the still classic bad line from "Spock's Brain":

"Brain and brain! What is brain? It is Controller, is it not?"

I think that pretty much sums up the episode.
-Mike

Cocytus wrote:RLM's AOTC review got me to thinking. What is your favorite bad line from a Star Wars or Star Trek film/episode? You know, that one line that never fails to make you cringe every time you hear it, and you think "what schmuck wrote this dreck? Didn't anyone proofread this and say 'this is a stupid line?'"

My personal favorite is from Attack of the Clones, when Obi-Wan arrives at Geonosis following Jango Fett. He flies over the assembled Trade Federation battleships and says "there's an unusual concentration of Federation ships over there R4"

As opposed to what? A usual concentration? What exactly would be the usual concentration of Federation ships for a given area?

That one always makes me cringe.

Huh, I see that you've never been to Geonosis!

Mike DiCenso wrote:No, no, no... the one that really hurts:

"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and
irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here
everything's soft... and smooth..."

I mean, you can't get much worse than that!
-Mike

But it's true, and spoken from the POV of someone who lived in a sandy environment all his life, and now has the opportunity to touch Natalie Portman's skin... :)

I can't believe you don't agree with me...
Mike, you're breaking my heart... *sob* *snif* *sob*




:)

Oh, try the whole dialogue between Anakin and Obi-Wan on Mustafar:

"You're new empire?"
"Don't make me kill you."

What the hell kind of response is that? As Confused Matthew put it, the conversation could have gone like this:

"You're new empire?"
"Don't make me kill you."
"Coathangers."
"John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!"
"Ever wonder how they get the cranberries in the sauce?"

And it still would have made as much sense!

Hey, maybe they could have had Obi-Wan and Anakin recite the infamous opening scene from "Zero Wing":

Captain: What happen?
Mechanic: Someone set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal!
Captain: What!
Operator: Main screen turn on!
Captain: It's you!!
Cats: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say!!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha....
Operator: Captain!!
Captain: Take off every 'ZIG'!! You know what you doing. Move 'ZIG." For great justice.

I mean, it would have made just as much sense...
-Mike

Mike DiCenso wrote:Hey, maybe they could have had Obi-Wan and Anakin recite the infamous opening scene from "Zero Wing":

Captain: What happen?
Mechanic: Someone set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal!
Captain: What!
Operator: Main screen turn on!
Captain: It's you!!
Cats: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say!!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha....
Operator: Captain!!
Captain: Take off every 'ZIG'!! You know what you doing. Move 'ZIG." For great justice.

I mean, it would have made just as much sense...
-Mike

Wow. That sequence is seriously fucked up.

Well, it never would have been the awesome internet meme it is, if this had been one of the translations:

AD 2101―
War has begun.
Captain: What was that?
Engineer: Someone has planted a bomb on the ship!
Communication operator: Captain! Receiving transmission!
Captain: What?!
Communication operator: Incoming visual on the main screen.
Captain: Y…You!
CATS: You look busy, gentlemen.
CATS: With the help of the Federation Government forces, CATS has taken all of your bases.
CATS: Your ship is about to meet its doom as well.
Captain: This…this is ridiculous!
CATS: We are grateful for your cooperation.
CATS: Cherish these few remaining moments of your lives.
CATS: Ha ha ha ha ha…
Communication operator: Captain….
Captain: I order you to launch all ZIG units!
Captain: We have no choice but to entrust to them….
Captain: Our hopes for our future…
Captain: We’re counting on you, ZIG!

So it becomes a rather ho-hum ordinary video game intro, and no one cares.
-Mike