Most Broke Weapon In Fiction Contest

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Lucky
Jedi Master
Posts: 2239
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:28 pm

Most Broke Weapon In Fiction Contest

Post by Lucky » Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:09 am

RULES
1) The context in which the weapon exists in must be taken into account


I nominate the EM-1
(Eraser) - EM-1 Railgun
Eraser http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116213/quotes wrote: John: That weapon, it came from your company, right?

Lee: Yes. It's an EMP prototype, it's not even supposed to exist.

John: EMP?

Lee: Electro-Magnetic Pulse. No gunpowder, no conventional bullets. They fire caseless aluminum shells at nearly the speed of light.

John: You're talking about the rail gun?

Lee: [surprised] That's right.

John: The Navy has been working on those for years. But the smallest one I've ever seen is mounted on a battleship.

Lee: Cyrez was contracted to scale them down, design a man-portable version. The most powerful assault rifle on earth. They took millions, then said the physics were impossible.

John: It looked real enough to me.
It has an "X-Ray" scope
And this is the gun in action

theta_pinch
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Posts: 174
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:28 pm

Re: Most Broke Weapon In Fiction Contest

Post by theta_pinch » Wed Jan 14, 2015 11:50 pm

Lucky wrote:RULES
1) The context in which the weapon exists in must be taken into account


I nominate the EM-1
(Eraser) - EM-1 Railgun
Eraser http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116213/quotes wrote: John: That weapon, it came from your company, right?

Lee: Yes. It's an EMP prototype, it's not even supposed to exist.

John: EMP?

Lee: Electro-Magnetic Pulse. No gunpowder, no conventional bullets. They fire caseless aluminum shells at nearly the speed of light.

John: You're talking about the rail gun?

Lee: [surprised] That's right.

John: The Navy has been working on those for years. But the smallest one I've ever seen is mounted on a battleship.

Lee: Cyrez was contracted to scale them down, design a man-portable version. The most powerful assault rifle on earth. They took millions, then said the physics were impossible.

John: It looked real enough to me.
It has an "X-Ray" scope
And this is the gun in action
The most broke weapon in fiction you say? Then I nominate the Reality Bomb.
Journey's End Reality Bomb wrote:ROSE: Doctor, what happened?

DAVROS: Electrical energy, Miss Tyler. Every atom in existence is bound by an electrical field. The Reality bomb cancels it out. Structure falls apart. That test was focused on the prisoners alone. Full transmission will dissolve every form of matter.

ROSE: The stars are going out.

DOCTOR: The twenty seven planets. They become one vast transmitter, blasting that wavelength.

DAVROS: Across the entire universe. Never stopping, never faltering, never fading. People and planets and stars will become dust, and the dust will become atoms, and the atoms will become nothing. And the wavelength will continue, breaking through the Rift at the heart of the Medusa Cascade into every dimension, every parallel, every single corner of creation. This is my ultimate victory, Doctor! The destruction of reality itself!

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Mr. Oragahn
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Re: Most Broke Weapon In Fiction Contest

Post by Mr. Oragahn » Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:30 pm

theta_pinch wrote:
Lucky wrote:RULES
1) The context in which the weapon exists in must be taken into account


I nominate the EM-1
(Eraser) - EM-1 Railgun
Eraser http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116213/quotes wrote: John: That weapon, it came from your company, right?

Lee: Yes. It's an EMP prototype, it's not even supposed to exist.

John: EMP?

Lee: Electro-Magnetic Pulse. No gunpowder, no conventional bullets. They fire caseless aluminum shells at nearly the speed of light.

John: You're talking about the rail gun?

Lee: [surprised] That's right.

John: The Navy has been working on those for years. But the smallest one I've ever seen is mounted on a battleship.

Lee: Cyrez was contracted to scale them down, design a man-portable version. The most powerful assault rifle on earth. They took millions, then said the physics were impossible.

John: It looked real enough to me.
It has an "X-Ray" scope
And this is the gun in action
The most broke weapon in fiction you say? Then I nominate the Reality Bomb.
Journey's End Reality Bomb wrote:ROSE: Doctor, what happened?

DAVROS: Electrical energy, Miss Tyler. Every atom in existence is bound by an electrical field. The Reality bomb cancels it out. Structure falls apart. That test was focused on the prisoners alone. Full transmission will dissolve every form of matter.

ROSE: The stars are going out.

DOCTOR: The twenty seven planets. They become one vast transmitter, blasting that wavelength.

DAVROS: Across the entire universe. Never stopping, never faltering, never fading. People and planets and stars will become dust, and the dust will become atoms, and the atoms will become nothing. And the wavelength will continue, breaking through the Rift at the heart of the Medusa Cascade into every dimension, every parallel, every single corner of creation. This is my ultimate victory, Doctor! The destruction of reality itself!
It sounds insane because of its reach, but it actually has an upper limit in that it only destroys atoms. It's like a large NDF weapon.
But any weapon capable of attacking anything more elementary is even more pants on head retarded.

I think the anti-Ori weapon from Stargate is equally ludicrously overkill. Although its scope is more limited - it *only* targets an entire galaxy (how miserable) - it destroys beings known to be made of "pure energy" and floating in a superior plane of existence made of... err... knowledge or something. That's perhaps like attacking the pool of omniscience itself.
In other words, while Davros attacks Creation, the anti-ori weapon might wound up the thing that even precedes the Creation itself, because as it attacks beings made of energy, they're organized energy, and thus data, which is sort of stored in that higher plane where there's infinite knowledge (which the Replicators foolishly attempted to compute and digest... to some avail).

Mind you, at this point, the writers were just being complete tards on overdrive.
This was beyond power creep, really.
Another example from the same band of clowns:

Behold the Ark of Truth!

While it might sound like something picked from either Discworld or South Park, it's actually a weapon of propaganda made solid, in the form of a large and empty chest that shines light in your face and which can convince you of anything forever.
The added bonus?
If the one exposed to the beam/light (which conveys the truth) is a psychic and can communicate the "truth" to someone else, the someone else is convinced as well.
And if the initial individual is wearing a communication/psychic device, then the linked devices on the other end sort of radiate the "truth" so anyone on the other end gets the memo as well if they're in the range of the emission of "truth".

In other words, you shine that nonsense in the face of any unit part of a collective or some sort, and you can have fun with the whole network.
It seems you can code "truth" any way you want, for any message.
Like... "you must reduce yourself to a volume of 1cm³", "gravity is a colour but you're blind so you can fly", "you should die right now, alone, in a star", "you're a pot of fudge so don't move", "the cake is a lie but you're the cake too, you're sad", "Guardians of the Galaxy was such a fantastic, fun and clever movie and you're a pink squid made of love who must spread the truth", etc.

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