Starfleet Jedi

Here is a link to a article I have wrriten on my Calathrinan Empire, discussed in "Orange Star: More Powerful Version of the Death Star I". It is not finished, but it will be completed soon, and please comment on it:

http://imagine.wikia.com/wiki/Calathrinan_Empire

It occurs to me that we have a forum section for stories. I have therefore moved this and the other two threads here.

Thanks for moving it, Mr. Spock. Would you like to comment on it?

My Calathrinan Empire has 500 million member worlds, 1 billion colonies, 20 million protectorates and 10 million colonies spread across it's galaxy, which is 120,000 light years long and has two hundred billion settled stars. Would that government be large or small?

Youngla0450 wrote:Thanks for moving it, Mr. Spock. Would you like to comment on it?

First, I'll comment that if you want feedback, you really ought to write it, or copy it, here, rather than following off-site links.

Second, I'll comment that building a setting to tell a story in and telling a story are two different things. Right now I can tell the setting described borrows heavily. It's derivative, but not actually set inside an existing universe. In some ways that's the worst place to be, because nothing you write in a setting like that is ever going to be publishable.

And ultimately, it's the story that tests the setting. You can build all you want, but if you don't have a story to tell in that setting, it's never really going to come alive for most people reading it.

So. Tell us a story. Spend a few days, knock together one or two thousand words of narration. Perhaps tell us about a day or a week in the life of an ordinary citizen on an ordinary world - not living or working on the Orange Star - and then put into his perspective what it means to him.

How does the Orange Star affect his life? Is he resentful of the taxes he pays to fund something like that? Is he proud of it? Is he terrified that it's going to blow up his world?

Jedi Master Spock wrote:

Youngla0450 wrote:Thanks for moving it, Mr. Spock. Would you like to comment on it?

First, I'll comment that if you want feedback, you really ought to write it, or copy it, here, rather than following off-site links.

Second, I'll comment that building a setting to tell a story in and telling a story are two different things. Right now I can tell the setting described borrows heavily. It's derivative, but not actually set inside an existing universe. In some ways that's the worst place to be, because nothing you write in a setting like that is ever going to be publishable.

And ultimately, it's the story that tests the setting. You can build all you want, but if you don't have a story to tell in that setting, it's never really going to come alive for most people reading it.

So. Tell us a story. Spend a few days, knock together one or two thousand words of narration. Perhaps tell us about a day or a week in the life of an ordinary citizen on an ordinary world - not living or working on the Orange Star - and then put into his perspective what it means to him.

How does the Orange Star affect his life? Is he resentful of the taxes he pays to fund something like that? Is he proud of it? Is he terrified that it's going to blow up his world?

Thanks for the advice, Mr. Spock. I am going to write a story about it here right away. Please refer me to where I could get ideas and suggestions for my story.