Mystery Outlaw Theater 3000

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Khas
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Mystery Outlaw Theater 3000

Post by Khas » Tue Feb 02, 2010 7:09 pm

A crossover between Outlaw Star and MST3K. If you couldn't tell that already.


In the Not To Distant Future
Somewhere in Time and Space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
Are caught in a nasty place
They try to escape the wrath of Pearl
An evil gal who wants to rule the world
From her castle below she sets her sights above
Just to torture all the captives on the Satellite of Love

"Let... Me... DOWN!!!

I'll send him cheesy movies
The worst I can find (lalala)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And I'll monitor his mind! (lalala)

Now keep in mind, Mike can't control
When the movie begins or ends (lalala)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends

ROBOT ROLL CALL

Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (Oh my stars!)
Tom Servo! (Check me out!)
Croooooooow! (I'm different!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (lalala)
Repeat to yourself 'it's just a show',
I should really just relax

For Mystery Science Theater 3000!
(twang!)

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Khas
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Re: Mystery Outlaw Theater 3000

Post by Khas » Tue Feb 02, 2010 7:35 pm

Episode begins. Doors close. We go to the bridge of the SOL. Mike, Tom, and Crow are on the bridge, talking about what they think of Stargate

Tom: I don't know, Mike, the whole thing of Earth's gods being aliens just seems messed up to me.

Crow: Yeah, what if Jesus were an alien? Can you imagine what would happen then? There'd be Christmas UFOs instead of Christmas trees!

Mike: Uh, Crow, I think the rammifications would be a bit more severe than that.

Crow: You're right! Candy canes would be green instead of red! The horror!

(Mike and Tom just look at each other speechless for a second or two, before a message comes in. Mike, Tom, and crow rush toward it to find Pearl looking at them, while Bobo and Brain Guy are playing video games in the background.)

Pearl: Well guys, I've got good news for you, and I've got bad news for you. The good news is, you're not getting a movie today.

Mike, Crow and Tom: Woo-hoo! Yippee! Yes!

Pearl: The bad news is, I have a new machine that I can't wait to try out on you guys!

(Mike, Tom, and Crow stop cheering.)

Pearl: That's right, say hello to the dimensional shifter! (Pearl presses button. Stargate appears on bridge, already open.)

Tom: Well, speak of the devil!

Crow: Was he an alien too?

Mike: Hey, Cambot! Would you mind going in this?

(Cambot goes through the Stargate, displaying what he sees. It's the cheese shop from Wisconsin where the alternate Crow works. Cambot returns to the SOL. Mike and the bots start cheering, and are about to enter it. Mike walks through, but then the wormhole collapses just after he walks through it. The Stargate then folds and collapses, origami style. Thus leaving the bots trapped on the SOL, just like they were when Joel left.)

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Re: Mystery Outlaw Theater 3000

Post by Khas » Thu Feb 04, 2010 2:22 pm

Meanwhile, in the Outlaw Star universe...

The crew is currently on shore leave at Hei Fong III. Suzuka is somewhere, Gene is sleeping, no one really knows where Melfina is, Gilliam is offline, and Jim and Aisha are currently downtown, looking for a restraunt. I'm not sure who I'm going to pity more, the restraunt for having to serve all that food, or Aisha for paying the bill.

Jim: Are you sure that this restraunt is as good as the one on Blue Haven?

Aisha: Of course I'm sure!!! Do you honestly expect them to serve anything less than an official of the Ctarl-Ctarl Empire?!?

Jim: (thinking: Ex-Official you mean.)

(Suddenly, a bright light appears)

Jim: What the...

(MST3K universe. Bright light has appeared on the SOL bridge.)

Jim: ...hell was that?

Crow: Well, aren't you a little foul-mouthed for a kid.

Jim: Who are you?

Aisha: Where the hell are we?

Crow: You're on the Satellite of Love, the only interstellar theater known to exist. I'm Crow.

Tom: Tom Servo. Now, who the hell are you?

Jim: Jim Hawkins of Starwind and Hawkins Enterprises!!!

Aisha: Aisha Clan-Clan of the Ctarl-Ctarl Empire.

(Unfortunately, Pearl has been watching, and she sees the newcomers on the SOL bridge.)

Pearl: Well, since you've got newcomers, I think I'll send you a movie.

Crow: Oh thanks, guys. You show up, and now we have to watch a movie.

Jim: What's wrong with that?

Tom: You obviously haven't seen the stuff she sends us...

Pearl: Well, since you're newbies, I'll go easy on ya.

Jim: Really?

Pearl: Heck No!!! You get a real crapball of a movie. It's called...

(She reaches into a chest with both a "biohazard" and "radioactive" symbol on it. Brain Guy and Bobo are now in front of the camera, watching with anticipation.)

Pearl: Pokemon: The Movie 2000!!!

Tom: (At Aisha and Jim:) I'm starting to hate the two of you already.

Aisha: (At Pearl:) And if we refuse?

Pearl: Then I just blow up the satellite with you onboard. How does that sound?

Aisha: You will pay for this!!! No crime against the Ctarl-Ctarl Empire goes unpunished!!!

Pearl: Yeah, right. I doubt this "Carl-Carl Empire" would be any threat to me. They probably don't even exist in this universe, anyway. Now, get down to that theater, or it's fireworks!!!

(Alarm starts sounding, lights start flashing, everyone runs through the insane amount of doors to get to the theater.)

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Re: Mystery Outlaw Theater 3000

Post by Khas » Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:11 pm

(Our heroes sit in the theater. The movie starts. "Nintendo" liscense appears on screen.)

Crow: Nintend-D'oh! What Shigeru Miyamoto said when he saw this film.

(Opening Scene. Three islands are seen. The one in the center has a tall volcano on it.)

Tom: Well, that's just rude, the islands are flipping the bird to us.

(Camera moves out to show a prophecy. Unnamed Villain starts talking.)

Unnamed Villain: Disturb not the harmony of fire, ice, and lightning


Crow: They have enough marital problems as it is.

Unnamed Villain: Lest these titans reek destruction in the world in which they clash

Tom: And already a reference to a movie that's infinitely better than this sh!t.

Unnanmed Villain: (Continuing): Alone it's song shall fail, and the earth shall turn to ash.

Jim: So, fire's gonna win?

Tom: No, you don't wanna know why they said "Ash".

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