Starfleet Jedi

Yes, finally, The Last Bastion part 2 is out! Yaay! (throws popcorn)

In Part 2, the USS Riemann and the USS Heritage are put under the command of Captain Robert Anderson of the USS Guardian to investigate the disappearance of the USS Compliance in the Serova Rift.

I mapped out the script over the weekend, and it looks like this thing will be in at least 7 parts! Possibly more, if I get too bogged down in the real world!

A bit slower paced than the previous installment... I was expecting something that moved as quickly. I hope the third one picks the pace back up.

Jedi Master Spock wrote:A bit slower paced than the previous installment... I was expecting something that moved as quickly. I hope the third one picks the pace back up.

Well, first we had the "teaser", now we have the "set-up". What we have to look forward to next are "conflict" and "conclusion"!

Oh, and Imperials. The Imps will definitely be in the next one!

The script was terrible.

Enough happened in the first one to make it worth watching, however this one was just boring. Great, you have them telling yo' mama jokes and a retard pirate look-a-like commanding a Sovereign class ship. Please make future installments much better.

GStone wrote:The script was terrible.

Funny, the only time I see that lament is from Trekkies, by and large.

AnonymousRedShirtEnsign wrote:Enough happened in the first one to make it worth watching, however this one was just boring. Great, you have them telling yo' mama jokes and a retard pirate look-a-like commanding a Sovereign class ship. Please make future installments much better.

I'll give it a shot.

Funny, the only time I see that lament is from Trekkies, by and large.

Well, I don't really know how you define a Trekkie, but I have to agree with Gstone... to a degree.
I thought the idea of an arrogant Starfleet captain was good, we've certainly seen a few of those over the years in ST (Captain Jellico anyone... :) ).

I thought the idea of having strange rituals conducted in order to sign a treaty was good.

But frankly, the "fat mama" jokes, the pirate-like captain and the fact that his lame excuse for shooting the other race's ship was:"I don't have time to read all the reports" was really bad.
That kind of corny humor will certainly shine for die-hard SW fans, who are used to that kind of humor, and those kinds of plots, but for a lot of Sci-Fi fans like me, not just Trekkies, it just doesn't cut it.

Yeah, I liked the SW movies a lot, the action was awesome, the SFX were unbelievable, but I have always found the dialogues to be only ok for the OT, and downright bad for most of the Prequels.

I think GStone could have expanded on why he thought the script was bad, but it doesn't make his comment any less valid.
You can take our criticism and ignore it if you want, the project's your anyway.
But just because the comment doesn't come from a SW fan, or one of your friends, it is still valid, since if one person feels like that, then you can be sure more people will feel the same since your video is on the net for all to see.

I hope you don't see my comments as negative attacks, because they aren't.
Oh, and oone last thing: I read a few comments on SB.com where people said your animation was bad, too jerky.
I liked it!
We were able to see all that was happening clearly, the ships are very nice, and I think the characters are nicely animated.
Well, those were my comments.

I can go point for point on the ups and downs of the film (there were a few ups), but it'd have to wait until at least thursday morning because I'm too busy till then, if you want it.

Praeothmin wrote:But frankly, the "fat mama" jokes, the pirate-like captain and the fact that his lame excuse for shooting the other race's ship was:"I don't have time to read all the reports" was really bad.

I thought the fat momma jokes was strange when I first read the script (I came up with the general scene, Phil wrote the script) but I came to like as I started working on the movie. Once I rendered the scenes, I thought it was hilarious. So far, a lot of people have commented that "Your mother was classified as a gravitational anomoly" was the funniest one out of the lot!

I was supposed to do the voice for Captain Anderson, but then I asked Andiana to do his "Captain Jack Sparrow" impersonation for that character, and it fit much better.

That kind of corny humor will certainly shine for die-hard SW fans, who are used to that kind of humor, and those kinds of plots, but for a lot of Sci-Fi fans like me, not just Trekkies, it just doesn't cut it.

Oh please. I've never seen any indication that sci-fi fans in general were connoisseurs of quality humor. The fact that Farscape has fans bears this out.

Yeah, I liked the SW movies a lot, the action was awesome, the SFX were unbelievable, but I have always found the dialogues to be only ok for the OT, and downright bad for most of the Prequels.

People don't see Star Wars flicks for the prose, though!

I think GStone could have expanded on why he thought the script was bad, but it doesn't make his comment any less valid.

Agreed.

You can take our criticism and ignore it if you want, the project's your anyway. But just because the comment doesn't come from a SW fan, or one of your friends, it is still valid, since if one person feels like that, then you can be sure more people will feel the same since your video is on the net for all to see.

I invite all valid criticism, good and bad. Its the little internet snipers that I don't allow to get away unscathed. Lots of people gave me feedback about first one ("can't see the stars!" "Rank pips on both sides of the collar!") and I used them to fix those problems. (Although the uniform fix is decidedly non-canon). For this segment, I've gotten a lot of comments about Captain Kraft's audio.

I hope you don't see my comments as negative attacks, because they aren't.

Naah!

Oh, and oone last thing: I read a few comments on SB.com where people said your animation was bad, too jerky. I liked it! We were able to see all that was happening clearly, the ships are very nice, and I think the characters are nicely animated.

Thanks, although I can't take any credit for the animation. That's from the game, "The Movies". There were a few snipers on sb.com that were pissed simply because a Trek ship blew up, and alleged the only reason the film was made was to make fun of Darkstar.

Like he needs any help in that area...

GStone wrote:I can go point for point on the ups and downs of the film (there were a few ups), but it'd have to wait until at least thursday morning because I'm too busy till then, if you want it.

Cool. Don't take the Trekkies comment too seriously. I'm sure the Star Wars side will be raking us over the coals when the Imperials show up (in part 3!) and we don't treat them much better.

I personally enjoyed it. I will admit, the yo mama jokes is definitely not what I expected when I saw my part of the script, but I still had a ton of fun recording my part of the movie, even if the final product ended up sounding nothing like my actual voice :D I understand that you had some trouble getting people to record their segment in a timely manner, and that you're considering doing all the voices yourself next time, but if you need another voice, I'd be happy to do another one.

My only criticism would be that at times it was somewhat difficult to hear what some of the characters were saying. Not sure if there's anything you can do about that, but whatever.

Looking forward to part 3.

Cock_Knocker wrote

I thought the fat momma jokes was strange when I first read the script (I came up with the general scene, Phil wrote the script) but I came to like as I started working on the movie. Once I rendered the scenes, I thought it was hilarious. So far, a lot of people have commented that "Your mother was classified as a gravitational anomoly" was the funniest one out of the lot!

It's not that I thought the jokes were bad, I just didn't feel they had their place in a SF rendition of ST and SW.

Cock_Knocker wrote

Oh please. I've never seen any indication that sci-fi fans in general were connoisseurs of quality humor. The fact that Farscape has fans bears this out.

Sorry, I wasn't clear enough.
What I meant was, we are used to that kind of humor from SW, from Farscape, and even from Firefly (which I liked). Those are all settings where the mood invites that type of humor.
If you had made a Firefly fan movie, and you would have put those jokes in that movie, I would even have given it a second thought, because in my mind the setting is appropriate for that.
I just don't think it sits well in ST.
But that's my personnal opinion, so take it for what it's worth... :)


Cock_Knocker wrote

People don't see Star Wars flicks for the prose, though!

You got that right... :)
But it is still fun when the dialogue is somewhat good, like in the SW OT.

The wanting to slam Darkstar is self-evident in the film and it was to those on the other side of the aisle. But, let's get to the meat of this thing.

Pluses:

I liked what seemed like reaction engines, as sublight engines on the aliens' ships. They're an isolationist society, so not having continuum distortion tech for STL speeds is okay.

I liked that there was a not human looking robot. I have a suspicion of what that character is about, but I'll wait to see how that one is unfolded.

Minus:

One of the things I've found to be a measure of a success of a fan film is how well it can be integrated into the setting and spirit of the show it's made for. This part didn't measure up for glaringly obvious reasons. There is a difference between a film that carves out a small section of a franchise that looks like it would fit in there (based on the spirit of the show) and one that's just the backdrop of a franchise and doesn't feel like it would be thought of as "canon".

The female captain. Maybe her mother was a stripper, but what was her? A phone sex operator? Her voice sounds so forced. 99% of the women in the world don't have a natural voice that sounds like that. That type of voice screams phone sex operator and you aren't likely to find someone putting that into a live action show for a captain's voice, even tha male version of it. You are also not likely to have someone use that voice (fake or not) on a bridge of a Starfleet ship with others around them. Remember The Naked Now, how that woman replied to the Enterprise's hails? Picard thought it was strange and you know that by how he looked. You can get any emotion and reaction out of anyone, but the situation has to be right for them. Even if you were gonna have the captain talk like that, it's more likely you'll find it when the 2 of them are having a private communique, not in front of others. I would also expect the other captain to have more self-control than what he was displaying. The guy is in charge of a starship. If you wanted him to have that type of emotion, it would have played better, if he was more subtle about it, not panting like an overheated dog. It shouldn't feel, like Sin City.

And is it "Reesa" or "Rise"? that was meant? Everything in the scene screams it should be Risa being said.

Yo mamma jokes aren't what I would have gone with, but that' more choice and isn't the objection itself. I've seem Yo Mamma on MTV and there has been some funny ass shit on there, but...if you are gonna go with yo mamma jokes, the ones in here need a lot of polish. The gravitational anomaly is probably the best joke of the ones in this clip, but that, too, could have used work. If something odd or strange was called for in a diplomatic proceeding, I would have avoided the yo mamma jokes, which leads to Captain Anderson.

If you wanna keep the bandana, fine, but he's the captain of a starship in the Federation. He's got a soverign. The idea that he would fire on a ship jut because someone made a joke about his mum that he took offense to is far more jarring than the phone sex operator captain. Keep him a maverick who doesn't have time to read all the mission reports. Fine. But, give him a better reason than that. You could say that what was seen as the exhaust from the sublight engines was actually damage they suffered from radicals that didn't want the meeting to happen and they showed up because they want the meeting to happen. The screen could go all fritzy, as they explain and the captian asks if they can help. Alien captain can say they've got it, let's get this show going or something to that effect. If you wanna bring in the yo mamma jokes, fine, but I'd say limit it to one per side before switching to the next scene. Keep the gravitational anomaly one, if you want.

Let the trouble with communicationns be the reason why the soverign is having trouble hearing the aliens. They barely hear a couple words and they know there's weapons trained on the Fed ships, so Anderson gives the order to fire. Him being a "maverick" might let you sneak by the idea of Anderson trying to talk to the other Fed ships to find out what's going on first, but it depends on how it's played out. The aliens leave and Anderson says he doesn't have time to read all the mission reports. Say he was in a rush and that's also why he fired so quickly. But, come on. He's in charge of a damn soverign. There's no way Starfleet would let someone like that be in charge of the most advanced ship in the fleet. A guy like that, he'd be in charge of a minimum security place somewhere, if not the groundskeeper.

And what was with several people leaning back and shaking their fist in the air?

GStone wrote:The wanting to slam Darkstar is self-evident in the film and it was to those on the other side of the aisle.

Well, I have to say thanks for actually reviewing the flick. There's been a few snipers who have claimed I made it for the sole purpose of bashing Darkstar. Not true; I already did that with regards to Scooter in this movie.

But if I can yet again poke fun at someone who's infamous in the SW vs ST arguments in a SW vs ST movie, then that's icing on the cake. "The Last Bastion" parodies the entire genre.

But, let's get to the meat of this thing.

Pluses:

I liked what seemed like reaction engines, as sublight engines on the aliens' ships. They're an isolationist society, so not having continuum distortion tech for STL speeds is okay.

Can't really take credit for that. Those are stock ships in "The Movies" Expansion pack.

I liked that there was a not human looking robot. I have a suspicion of what that character is about, but I'll wait to see how that one is unfolded.

Simple explanation that won't be explored at all in the actual movie: that's Captain Anderson's Number One. Since the Federation can't seem to make Data-like androids, that's the best they can do!

Minus:

One of the things I've found to be a measure of a success of a fan film is how well it can be integrated into the setting and spirit of the show it's made for. This part didn't measure up for glaringly obvious reasons. There is a difference between a film that carves out a small section of a franchise that looks like it would fit in there (based on the spirit of the show) and one that's just the backdrop of a franchise and doesn't feel like it would be thought of as "canon".

This flick absolutely falls into the latter category. It's complete parody.

The female captain. Maybe her mother was a stripper, but what was her? A phone sex operator? Her voice sounds so forced. 99% of the women in the world don't have a natural voice that sounds like that. That type of voice screams phone sex operator and you aren't likely to find someone putting that into a live action show for a captain's voice, even tha male version of it.

That's the way the actress interpreted the lines. Kim and Andiana were two of the VERY few people to actually come through with the VO work after they told me they wanted to do a voice for this movie. Captain Kraft, for instance, was "recast" about 4 different times over the past few months even before part 1 came out, because people didn't follow through. This is the best I can do when I'm not paying someone. Of course, only AFTER I had the dialogue cut and edited, did my fiancee inform me that she would have done it.

You are also not likely to have someone use that voice (fake or not) on a bridge of a Starfleet ship with others around them. Remember The Naked Now, how that woman replied to the Enterprise's hails? Picard thought it was strange and you know that by how he looked. You can get any emotion and reaction out of anyone, but the situation has to be right for them. Even if you were gonna have the captain talk like that, it's more likely you'll find it when the 2 of them are having a private communique, not in front of others.

You'd be correct if this was a serious effort. But we're pushing for broad comedy.

I would also expect the other captain to have more self-control than what he was displaying. The guy is in charge of a starship. If you wanted him to have that type of emotion, it would have played better, if he was more subtle about it, not panting like an overheated dog. It shouldn't feel, like Sin City.

Come on, the guy's been in space for months. He needs to clean his pipes!

And is it "Reesa" or "Rise"? that was meant? Everything in the scene screams it should be Risa being said.

It is Risa. The actress knows next to nothing about Star Trek, so that's how she pronounced it: "Reeesa".

Yo mamma jokes aren't what I would have gone with, but that' more choice and isn't the objection itself. I've seem Yo Mamma on MTV and there has been some funny ass shit on there, but...if you are gonna go with yo mamma jokes, the ones in here need a lot of polish. The gravitational anomaly is probably the best joke of the ones in this clip, but that, too, could have used work. If something odd or strange was called for in a diplomatic proceeding, I would have avoided the yo mamma jokes, which leads to Captain Anderson.

We wanted to parody the hoops Trek captains go through to appease every Tom, Dick, and Gorn that comes their way, and to establish the character of Captain Anderson and foreshadow what you can expect of him once the ships reach the Serova Rift.

If you wanna keep the bandana, fine, but he's the captain of a starship in the Federation. He's got a soverign. The idea that he would fire on a ship jut because someone made a joke about his mum that he took offense to is far more jarring than the phone sex operator captain. Keep him a maverick who doesn't have time to read all the mission reports. Fine. But, give him a better reason than that.

Again, this movie isn't too deep, its light entertainment. The do-rag was put in place when Andiana got the VO gig for Captain Anderson. You can check out his "Captain Jack Sparrow" impression here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQKc3La-prE

You could say that what was seen as the exhaust from the sublight engines was actually damage they suffered from radicals that didn't want the meeting to happen and they showed up because they want the meeting to happen. The screen could go all fritzy, as they explain and the captian asks if they can help. Alien captain can say they've got it, let's get this show going or something to that effect. If you wanna bring in the yo mamma jokes, fine, but I'd say limit it to one per side before switching to the next scene. Keep the gravitational anomaly one, if you want.

Well, I'm not recutting part 2, but there's no more "yo momma" jokes in the other parts.

Let the trouble with communicationns be the reason why the soverign is having trouble hearing the aliens. They barely hear a couple words and they know there's weapons trained on the Fed ships, so Anderson gives the order to fire.

Actually, you're not too far off the mark on this in relation to a later scene to come!

Him being a "maverick" might let you sneak by the idea of Anderson trying to talk to the other Fed ships to find out what's going on first, but it depends on how it's played out. The aliens leave and Anderson says he doesn't have time to read all the mission reports. Say he was in a rush and that's also why he fired so quickly. But, come on. He's in charge of a damn soverign. There's no way Starfleet would let someone like that be in charge of the most advanced ship in the fleet. A guy like that, he'd be in charge of a minimum security place somewhere, if not the groundskeeper.

I honestly didn't think you'd assume we were trying to make a "serious" movie! Of course, if I WERE going to do one, you'd again be correct.

And what was with several people leaning back and shaking their fist in the air?

New Starfleet salute.

Remember, you have to let your inner Trek geek out now and again!

Anyway, if you keep in mind that the rest of the parts (3 to 7) are comedy and not a serious fan film, I think you'll enjoy them better.

The Last Bastion part 2 (Re-Edit)

This is a re-edit of part 2, featuring audio fixes some viewers requested, and tighter edits.

Now, there's a new question. It's bad when the Feds fire on the aliens, but it's okay when the aliens fire on the Feds?